Over the past few weeks, the same topic has come up in several conversations: marriage. What do I think of gay marriage? Should a believer be allowed to divorce an unbeliever? How do you know if your marriage is really over?
Now, I am not a marriage counsellor, or even a counsellor at all, for that matter, but I have life experience, and I have gleaned much wisom from the older folks I care for in the nursing home. Moreover, I have read the Bible, and it has much to say on this topic, so I indulged these conversations.
Two things that I have learned, I have decided to share here. First, I think our culture has, for the most part, given up on marriage. it used to be that when two people would fall in love, they would promise to be together "for better or for worse," and that would settle it. The idea of divorce wasn't even part of the equation. I find it ironic that today, the homosexuals are begging for the right to get married, and the Christians are throwing it away, as a useless tradition that no longer has any value.
I think that we have lost sight of what marriage is all about. Like we do in every other arena of life these days, we think it is all about us. What am I going to get out of this relationship? As soon as it no longer meets my needs, I am done with it, and I move on to the next thing that may bring me happiness. News flash: Our spouses were not created by God to meet our every need. That empty or lonely spot we have within us is meant to be filled with a relationship with God. No human being, no matter how much we love them or they love us, will ever fill that void. We cannot get our needs met by anyone else.
The older folks understood this. When they got married, they knew they were going to face trials. They expected hardships. They stuck together and worked through the hard times, and they were closer and had a stronger love for each other each time they overcame another obstacle. If you ask me, we give up much too easily. If we would stick it out in the hard times, we would not only gain a better relationship, but we would develop skills that could help us in every area in our lives.
So, lessen # 1 is "never give up."
Now, I am not a marriage counsellor, or even a counsellor at all, for that matter, but I have life experience, and I have gleaned much wisom from the older folks I care for in the nursing home. Moreover, I have read the Bible, and it has much to say on this topic, so I indulged these conversations.
Two things that I have learned, I have decided to share here. First, I think our culture has, for the most part, given up on marriage. it used to be that when two people would fall in love, they would promise to be together "for better or for worse," and that would settle it. The idea of divorce wasn't even part of the equation. I find it ironic that today, the homosexuals are begging for the right to get married, and the Christians are throwing it away, as a useless tradition that no longer has any value.
I think that we have lost sight of what marriage is all about. Like we do in every other arena of life these days, we think it is all about us. What am I going to get out of this relationship? As soon as it no longer meets my needs, I am done with it, and I move on to the next thing that may bring me happiness. News flash: Our spouses were not created by God to meet our every need. That empty or lonely spot we have within us is meant to be filled with a relationship with God. No human being, no matter how much we love them or they love us, will ever fill that void. We cannot get our needs met by anyone else.
The older folks understood this. When they got married, they knew they were going to face trials. They expected hardships. They stuck together and worked through the hard times, and they were closer and had a stronger love for each other each time they overcame another obstacle. If you ask me, we give up much too easily. If we would stick it out in the hard times, we would not only gain a better relationship, but we would develop skills that could help us in every area in our lives.
So, lessen # 1 is "never give up."
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