New Year

So, I finished the through-the-Bible-in-a-year reading plan that I resolved to follow last January.  What an amazing experience!  I learned a lot, and I have grown in ways I did not anticipate.  This week's lessons were from Revelation:

Regarding the fall of "Babylon" in Revelation 18, I read:  "Therefore, the sorrows of death and mourning and famine will overtake her in a single day.  She will be utterly consumed by fire, for the Lord God who judges her is mighty.  And the rulers of the world who took part in her immoral acts and enjoyed her great luxury will mourn for her as they see the smoke rising from her charred remains.  They will stand at a distance, terrified by her great torment.  They will cry out, 'How terrible, how terrible for Babylon, that great city!  In one single moment God's judgment came on her."  vs 8 - 10.  It goes on to say, "All the fancy things you loved so much are gone," they cry.  "The luxuries and splendor that you prized so much will never be yours again.  They are gone forever." vs 14.  Then:  "But you, O heaven, rejoice over her fate.  And you also rejoice, O holy people of God and apostles and prophets! For at last God has judged her on your behalf." vs. 20.

I know that "Babylon" is a specific power and this event comes at a specific time, but for me, I think it could have a broader meaning.  There are things in each of our lives that are like Babylon.  Things, places, people, ideas that take the place of God in our lives.  There is a time coming, I believe, when God will shake the proverbial rug out from under us, where our comfort will no longer be there, and we will not be able to rely on the things we currently use to feel secure.

This makes me wonder, how will I feel when the things of this world change rapidly?  Will I be like Lot's wife, when, leaving Sodom, she looked back and turned to a pillar of salt?  Is my faith in the God I know and love, who will protect me, or is it in myself, my belongings, or my sense of control over my environment?

The next chapters in Revelation go on to describe God's daring resue of our out-of-control planet at the end of time.  This is a scene of awe and beauty.  Of our Knight-in-Shining-Armor coming to rescue us, where we live happily ever after in a celestial city of gold, with God himself living right there with us, where we will finally be able to see him for ourselves.  I long to be part of this amazing event.

My New Year's resolution this year will be to focus on the things that really matter:  connecting with people on a more personal level and nurturing important relationships, focusing on the things that can't be taken away.  Less focus on me, less stress about controlling the things that I really can't control anyway.  A more simple faith, based on God, not on me.  I will seek Him more, listen more, talk less..  Hmmm....

God still answers prayer

What an amazing God we serve!  My daughter called me yesterday and told me that she was having bladder problems.  She told me she was having to go almost every hour and thought something was wrong.  I asked her how her blood sugars have been, since she is diabetic, and urinary frequency is a common symptom of high blood sugars.  She proceeded to tell me that she has had no insurance for the past three months and that her prescription for insulin had run out.  Not only that, but at $ 130 a month, she couldn't afford her insulin anyway.

Of course, this news threw me into a tailspin.  I reminded her of the risks of not treating her diabetes:  she probably would not die, but instead would have a stroke or permanently damage her kidneys, or go blind, or lose her legs, or perhaps any or all of these in any combination.  I offered to buy her some insulin if that was what she needed.  She reminded me that she did not have a current prescription, and it was a weekend, so there was nothing she could do.

I hung up and started thinking:  who did I know that could write her a prescription?  No one.  What could I do to help her?  Nothing.  I found the number for a new free clinic in our area that might be able to help her, but it would not be today, or maybe not at all.  What a helpless feeling.  So, out of desperation, not my first response, though it should be, I prayed.  Hard.

She called me back, responding to my offer of buying her some insulin, if she could get it ordered.  She said, "Mom, you will never believe what happened!"  Then she told me of how God intervened:

She went to the pharmacy and asked them if someone could call her doctor.  She explained that she didn't have insurance and could not afford her insulin.  She asked if they had a generic that maybe she could afford, and if they could put in a call to her doctor to ask if they could fill a one-time order until she could be seen at the free clinic.

The pharmacist (or whomever she spoke with) told her that they had just the thing.  She did not need a prescription, and it would be only $ 25, which she just happened to have.  She took it.  When she left the store and opened the package, she saw that it was her actual prescribed insulin!

I could think of a few ways this all transpired, but the bottom line is that it was a blessing from God!

Mountain top experiences

This week in my devotional studies, I have made it through Numbers and into Deuteronomy.  I am amazed at how God can use a scheduled reading program to speak to where my heart is at a particular time.  You see, after a dark, wet winter, it is nearing hiking season again.  I love to hike more than anything.  But, I am not getting any younger, and my knees are pretty much shot.  I can go uphill forever, but coming back down is another story.  As I was wondering if I had another summer of hiking left in me, I began to wonder what it is about hiking in the mountains that is so special.  Somehow, I really feel closer to God up on a mountain than anywhere else.  When I think about having to take it down a notch, and stick to the valleys and lowlands, my heart kind of sinks a little.

Wouldn't you know God has an answer for that?  As I was reading about Moses and the Israelites over the past few weeks, something popped out at me:  so many important interactions between God and his people happened on mountain tops.  Moses received the 10 commandments and spoke face to face with God on Mt. Sinai.  He got to see the promised land and was burried on Mt. Nebo.  Aaron was also burried on a mountain top.  I also thought about other important mountain top experiences:  Elijah and the prophets of Baal on Mt. Carmel, Abraham offering Isaac on Mt. Moriah, where later my Jesus gave his life for me in the greatest event ever to occur in the universe.

No wonder I feel such a connection with God on a mountain!  Now I only hope I have a few more mountain top adventures left in me before I have to trade in my hiking boots for a pair of sensible shoes!

Birthdays

So, last week I had a birthday.  I had a great plan.  I scheduled the day off work.  I was going to sleep in, do some shopping, a few projects around the house, and meet my husband for a birthday dinner.

As would be my luck, the state survey team showed up at my work place two days before my birthday for their annual inspection...and this year the process was to take not one, but two weeks!  This meant all vacations cancelled, and 12 hour work days all week x 2.  Yikes!

I immediately began to feel sorry for myself.  I decided to buck up and just deal with it, and so I did.  God blessed me that day more than I could have imagined:

One of my patients called me into his room after lunch.  He said, "Terri!  Come here!  I need you to take me to the dining room.  I have an announcement to make."  I said I would be glad to take him and asked him what it was about.  He said, "you'll know soon enough."  On the way to the dining room, he mentioned that he didn't get any pie for lunch, when everyone else had pie.  I wondered if he were going to lodge a formal complaint about the pie.  I really had no idea what I was in for. 

When we got to the dining room, I noticed that one of the surveyors was just outside the door to the dining room.  I was really worried now.  Whatever he was going to say, she was sure to hear it. 

"Ladies and Gentlemen, I have an announcement to make," he yelled out.  Several patients were still enjoying their lunch and looked up.  "Our beloved leader has a birthday today, and I wanted to make sure she knows how much we all appreciate her."  A gentleman at the first table started to sing, "Happy Birthday...," but this patient said, "I'm not finished," and he cleared his throat.  "Many happy returns on the day of thy birth, and may the Father protect you on Earth with a beautiful birthday in heaven."  Then came clapping, cheers, and a room full of tears. 

I will cherish this moment always.

The Narrow Path

Our sermon at church this week really hit home.  Our pastor made several points that easily could have been sermons in thier own standing.  One such point stuck me right where I am right now.  On the screen, he showed a graphic of two arrows:  one skinny arrow pointing up, and a second, fat arrow pointing down.  This was in reference to the two paths that we may chose to follow in life:  (Matthew 7:13, 14) "¹³ “Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it.¹⁴ But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it."  The pastor then physically illustrated walking in one direction, along the narrow road that leads to heaven.  He explained that it is a long journey.  We aren't going to get there all at once.  Sometimes it is really hard.  We may even take a few steps forward, and slide a few steps back, but we are still facing the same general direction and moving toward the goal.  It is when we stop, look over at the other road, and say, "this way is too hard.  I think I want to go with them" and turn and leave the road and join the others on the wide path that leads away from God that we are in trouble.

I was so glad for that illustration.  The narrow path is hard.  Really, really hard sometimes.  And sometimes it is really lonely, especially when most of our closest companions choose the wide path.  And the journey takes us to places that we often do not want to go, where the choices are hard to make.  God often makes us do hard work to learn the most important lessons of this life.  If we need to learn patience, he sends us frustration upon frustration, until we learn to lean on Him and patiently wait. (And for control-freaks like me, that means God needs to be patient, too).  If we need to learn to be more loving, he sends more "unloveable" people into our lives.  By this I don't mean that anyone is unloveable, but that there are people who rub us the wrong way and seem to bring out the worst in us, and we really have to work hard not to judge them and to find their redeeming qualities.

For example, I have a patient at work whose family is driving me crazy!  No matter what I do, it is always wrong.  And they complain every single day!  A few of the concerns are valid.  Many are unrealistic.  Every time I see their number come up on my caller ID, or I see them in the hallway, I have to pray before I talk to them.  One day, while one of the members was on the phone with me, I couldn't take it any more.  She was at first complaining about her family member's care.  Then it turned to her own personal problems:  health, financial, family, etc.  Finally, I asked God under my breath, "What can I do?"  Then, before I could think, out of my mouth came this:  "It sounds like you have a lot on your plate right now.  I know I can't do anything to fix most of it, but there is one thing I can do.  Can I pray with you?"  She agreed, and I prayed with her right there on the phone. She was grateful and thanked me, then hung up.  (Those of you that know me know that I am uncomfortable praying out loud and don't normally volunteer to do it.)  I would love to report that this was the answer and it fixed everything, but the next day everything was just the same.  I obviously have more learning to do...and a lot more praying!

The point I learned today is that even though the straight and narrow path is hard, sometimes seemingly impossible, that it is not about struggling uphill on a drudging march toward heaven.  God knows that I can't do it on my own.  I am the one that doesn't always get that it is not all up to me.  He points me in the right direction, and he is right there with me to pick me up every time I fall down.  He pushes me when I need help, and he carries me when I just can't do it any longer.

And the wide, easy path?  Well, I've been down that road before, and believe me, it is harder than it looks! 

His ways are not our ways

I am starting another "read your Bible through in a year" plan.  I am in Genesis right now.  As I was reading the account of the flood, it really made me stop and think.  God was so distressed over the evil he saw in the world, that he saw no other option but to destroy the planet...not just the people, but the whole system, except for 8 people.  I wonder what he is thinking as he looks down at the evil going on right now?

Then I thought more about the character of God.  He chose not to destroy the earth completely.  He sent a rainbow to assure us that he will never change his mind and just give up.  Then He gave us an unexplainable gift.  A gift he had planned all along, knowing before-hand what the world and its inhabitants were like and what we would do with the gift; he sent Jesus as our substitute.

And Jesus was not just a tool in God's hand.  Jesus was in on the plan, designing and working out the details all along.  Jesus knew the heart of man; our depth of love as well as the depravity of our hearts.  He knew we wouldn't understand his gift.  We would reject him over and over.

I can't speak for anyone else, but I know I couldn't do it.  I would look around and say, "No way, man!"  It is not worth it.  The benefits don't outweigh the risks.  I would walk away, leave the sinners in the sin, and start over.

But God is not man.  Jesus became a man, but he is still God.  He sees us, and somehow, he thinks we ARE worth it.  He finds something of value in our wayward hearts.  He knows we don't fully understand, and he has hope (well, maybe for an omniscient being hope is not the right word) that we will "get it" at some point and that with our free will we will choose him.  We will accept the gift.  We will love as we are loved.

I am so glad that God is God.