Over the past year and a half, God has placed a special burden on my heart to focus more on prayer. I have always been comfortable with the kind of prayer that is strictly between God and me, the kind where I share my most intimate thoughts and feelings with Him, ask Him for direction, thank Him for the blessings He sends and the lessons that He teaches me (even when they are painful), and share my joys and sorrows. Corporate prayer, where these intimate thoughts become public, and intercessory prayer, where I ask for God to work in someone else's life, have been more challenging.
About a year ago, I asked my pastor for some help in this area. He shared with me a book on prayer, but it really didn't help all that much. It didn't touch on the questions that I had. I was too embarrassed to tell him that I still didn't "get it," and he didn't pursue it, so I moved on. I read a few more books on prayer, which, frankly, left me with still more questions, and no real answers. So, God sent Julie.
Julie is my partner at work. We make such an incredible team. She is strong where I am weak, and we both have such a great love for God and for our "neighbors". As I mentioned to her that I was struggling with prayer, she suggested that we pray together in the mornings. I thought that would be great. I thought she would do the praying, I would say, "Amen," and that would be that. But she had better plans. We trade off days leading the prayer, and our group is not just the two of us. We now have a group of five regulars and about 6 more that come when they can. Sometimes, we meet in a patient's room, or invite them into my office to join us. It has been great! There have been some fabulous outcomes, and I am growing in my comfort with "corporate" prayer. (meanwhile, my church has asked me to lead out in prayer, too. I somehow accepted, and the first time I did it, I was sure that I would see my breakfast again, but with a shaking body and quivering voice, I did it. The second time was much easier, and I know that God is leading me to grow in this area).
As for intercessory prayer, I have always gone through the motions, but I never understood how or why it works. Why would God, who knows the plans he has for each of us, and works all things for our benefit, ask us to pray for others? If it is for our own growth, reaching outward instead of always inward, I could get that. But if we can somehow change God's mind toward someone, or have Him choose a different plan for the person than He already has, then that gets more confusing. (though there is Bible evidence to support this idea). Again, Julie has helped me with this, and it has helped to see God actually answer this kind of prayer.
Finally, last week, Julie taught me something so terrific. There is a young woman that we both know and care about. This young woman read my book, "Finding Peace in the Midst of Chaos," about a year ago. Since then, she has asked me many difficult questions about God and the meaning of life, and she has opened herself up to trust me with some personal struggles. She has also shared with Julie and asked her similar questions. I am a bit reserved when it comes to sharing God's good news with others. I don't want to push anyone away, so I hold back. I wait for them to ask me, then I share whatever I can. Julie doesn't wait, and she doesn't hold back. And with Julie's guiding, this young woman accepted Christ last week! I was privileged to be a part of it, and I was able to see first-hand how to take that step of directly asking someone if they want to accept Jesus as their savior. All of these years, I have never known how to do that.
Praise God for the special friends and helpers that He gives us in our journey!
Monday, April 28, 2008
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Amazing Love
As I was driving home today, I began thinking about hymns. I am a young person (at least at heart), and I listen to a lot of contemporary music, but I will never really fall in love with a contemporary song, like I have with some of the old hymns. There is something ageless about some of these old songs, and the writers put so much heart and meaning into what they wrote. You certainly don't get that from hip-hop.
For example, the song, "My Jesus, I love thee" has a verse that goes like this:
"I love Thee because Thou hast first loved me, and purchased my pardon on Calvary's tree; I love Thee for wearing the thorns on Thy brow; if ever I loved Thee, my Jesus, 'tis now."
Just think, if our young people, or even the rest of us, could really wrap our finite minds around such a thought. If we could really understand the kind of love that Jesus has for us, what would that do to our lives? You know, it wasn't the Jews that killed Jesus. It wasn't even the Romans. It was his immense, compassionate, fanatical love for us that made him voluntarily lay down his life!
Romans 5:8 tells us, "But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: while we were still sinners, Christ died for us." And John 15:13 says, "Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends."
If we could really, truly believe that, what a difference that would make! We could have no depression, no self-esteem issues. We would see ourselves for who we really are, how God sees us, as someone worthy of God's risking everything in a compassionate pursuit of our hearts. Now that is Amazing Love!
For example, the song, "My Jesus, I love thee" has a verse that goes like this:
"I love Thee because Thou hast first loved me, and purchased my pardon on Calvary's tree; I love Thee for wearing the thorns on Thy brow; if ever I loved Thee, my Jesus, 'tis now."
Just think, if our young people, or even the rest of us, could really wrap our finite minds around such a thought. If we could really understand the kind of love that Jesus has for us, what would that do to our lives? You know, it wasn't the Jews that killed Jesus. It wasn't even the Romans. It was his immense, compassionate, fanatical love for us that made him voluntarily lay down his life!
Romans 5:8 tells us, "But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: while we were still sinners, Christ died for us." And John 15:13 says, "Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends."
If we could really, truly believe that, what a difference that would make! We could have no depression, no self-esteem issues. We would see ourselves for who we really are, how God sees us, as someone worthy of God's risking everything in a compassionate pursuit of our hearts. Now that is Amazing Love!
Friday, April 18, 2008
Exhausted
Well, it is finally Friday, and I am exhausted! It was a long week to begin with, as I had to work 8 days straight before I got one day off, then back to work for another 3. Whew! On top of that, it has been a very emotionally challenging week. We lost 3 patients this week, all of whom were with us for two years or more. That brings us to a total of 7 in the past 6 weeks. Prior to that, we were stable for months and months. And I also lost my cat, of 14 years.
For those of you that know me well, you know that I don't deal all that well with death and dying. So, that makes me rethink my career choice every time I lose one of these dear souls. Why would I ever choose to work in a profession where I have to get close to people and then say good-bye to them? Why do I choose a job, where all too often one of my job duties is to place a call, "I am sorry to tell you that your (mother/father) is passing/has just passed away..." I really hate those calls.
They used to tell nurses, "Don't get too attached to your patients." But how do you "care" for your patients, if you don't "care" for them? Caring is what we do, and we can't help but become attached to someone we care about.
I guess it all comes back to taking the good with the bad. I no longer have a mother or any grandparents, so I love having all of these older folks to share with. They amass such wisdom, and it is great to be a part of their lives. The stories that the "greatest generation" have to tell just amazes me. I love being a part of their lives. They are such a blessing to me. I am a caregiver, but I must tell you, the care goes both ways!
So, when I lose one of my extended "family" members, it leaves an empty space in my heart, just as if I had lost someone in my genetic family. And it is very painful. I do rely on my faith to give me strength in these times, but the pain is still there.
And, just today, I was thinking: I wish the grim reaper were real. Then, I would be able to really tell him off for taking so many of my loved ones away in such a short period of time, and I would find a way to make him go away. But he is not real. And I can't very well tell God to go away! I know that this is all part of His plan and His timing to take them when He does. And, as I wrote in my book, death was not part of God's original plan. He designed us for eternity. And when we messed His plans all up and brought sin and death into the picture, He reformulated the plan, to assure that eternity is still an option for us. And death hurts God just like it hurts us. He hates it, too.
So, I guess I need to quit feeling sorry for myself and just commit to remembering the good times I have had with each of my patients until we meet again, and do all that I can for those that are still with us, to assure that they will make that appointment as well.
For those of you that know me well, you know that I don't deal all that well with death and dying. So, that makes me rethink my career choice every time I lose one of these dear souls. Why would I ever choose to work in a profession where I have to get close to people and then say good-bye to them? Why do I choose a job, where all too often one of my job duties is to place a call, "I am sorry to tell you that your (mother/father) is passing/has just passed away..." I really hate those calls.
They used to tell nurses, "Don't get too attached to your patients." But how do you "care" for your patients, if you don't "care" for them? Caring is what we do, and we can't help but become attached to someone we care about.
I guess it all comes back to taking the good with the bad. I no longer have a mother or any grandparents, so I love having all of these older folks to share with. They amass such wisdom, and it is great to be a part of their lives. The stories that the "greatest generation" have to tell just amazes me. I love being a part of their lives. They are such a blessing to me. I am a caregiver, but I must tell you, the care goes both ways!
So, when I lose one of my extended "family" members, it leaves an empty space in my heart, just as if I had lost someone in my genetic family. And it is very painful. I do rely on my faith to give me strength in these times, but the pain is still there.
And, just today, I was thinking: I wish the grim reaper were real. Then, I would be able to really tell him off for taking so many of my loved ones away in such a short period of time, and I would find a way to make him go away. But he is not real. And I can't very well tell God to go away! I know that this is all part of His plan and His timing to take them when He does. And, as I wrote in my book, death was not part of God's original plan. He designed us for eternity. And when we messed His plans all up and brought sin and death into the picture, He reformulated the plan, to assure that eternity is still an option for us. And death hurts God just like it hurts us. He hates it, too.
So, I guess I need to quit feeling sorry for myself and just commit to remembering the good times I have had with each of my patients until we meet again, and do all that I can for those that are still with us, to assure that they will make that appointment as well.
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
April Fools
I couldn't let April fool's day go by without a short study on foolishness. 1 Corinthians chapter 1 has a lot to say about this:
"I know very well how foolish the message of the cross sounds to those who are on the road to destruction. But we who are being saved recognize this message as the very power of God. As the Scriptures say, 'I will destroy human wisdom and discard their most brilliant ideas.' So where does this leave the philosophers, the scholars, and the world's brilliant debaters? God has made them all look foolish and has shown their wisdom to be useless nonsense. Since God in his wisdom saw to it that the world would never find him through human wisdom, he has used our foolish preaching to save all who believe.
"...God deliberately chose things the world considers foolish in order to shame those who think they are wise. And he chose those who are powerless to sham those who are powerful..."
(1 Cor 1:18 - 21, 27, NLT)
Today, I think of Jesus, the biggest fool of them all. He gave up perfection, oneness with God the Father, and all the splendor of heaven to take on the form of humanity. He was despised, ridiculed, tortured and crucified to redeem a fallen race. He took a risk that was simply foolish, and he conquered death to save you and me.
Today, I promise to be as foolish as I can: to turn the other cheek when others take advantage of me, to be forgiving, to look to the benefit of others instead of my own selfishness, to reach out in love to the unlovable, and to seek peace instead of revenge. Can you join me in this foolishness?
"I know very well how foolish the message of the cross sounds to those who are on the road to destruction. But we who are being saved recognize this message as the very power of God. As the Scriptures say, 'I will destroy human wisdom and discard their most brilliant ideas.' So where does this leave the philosophers, the scholars, and the world's brilliant debaters? God has made them all look foolish and has shown their wisdom to be useless nonsense. Since God in his wisdom saw to it that the world would never find him through human wisdom, he has used our foolish preaching to save all who believe.
"...God deliberately chose things the world considers foolish in order to shame those who think they are wise. And he chose those who are powerless to sham those who are powerful..."
(1 Cor 1:18 - 21, 27, NLT)
Today, I think of Jesus, the biggest fool of them all. He gave up perfection, oneness with God the Father, and all the splendor of heaven to take on the form of humanity. He was despised, ridiculed, tortured and crucified to redeem a fallen race. He took a risk that was simply foolish, and he conquered death to save you and me.
Today, I promise to be as foolish as I can: to turn the other cheek when others take advantage of me, to be forgiving, to look to the benefit of others instead of my own selfishness, to reach out in love to the unlovable, and to seek peace instead of revenge. Can you join me in this foolishness?
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