How people grow

Our Pastor recommended to all of our small group leaders that we read a book, by Townsend and Cloud, authors of the "Boundaries" series, called, "How People Grow."  My first impression was, "Oh,no!  Not another psychobabble book to help us feel good.  Ughhh!"  But because I have had life-changing help from the "Boundaries" books and am familiar with and trust the authors, I decided to read it.

I finished it this week, and what a blessing I found.  It wasn't about how people grow, with step-by-step charts on growth and development and lots of psychology, as I had expected.  It was a refreshing look at examples of how people have experienced growth, or not experienced it, as the case may be, and lessons we can all learn.  It was just like their other books, in that it offered tangible lessons that I can and will apply to my own life, as I grow in relationship to God and others, and as I help others in their life journeys.

For example, in a chapter on temptation, they write:

This is exactly how temptation occurs.  Satan tempts us at our weakest moments and in our weakest areas.  We need something, or we are in pain.  And the temptation answers both of those for the moment.  If someone needs love or is lonely, the deceptive sin of illicit sex (the lust of the flesh) can momentarily masquerade as love.  If someone needs validation, the lure of power and the "boastful pride of life" can trick him into feeling as if his existence is worthwhile because of that power.  If someone is feeling "not good enough," the lure of materialism and the "lust of the eyes" can momentarily dull that pain.  In those three areas, John tells us, "Do not love the world or anything in the world.  If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him.  For everything in the world -- the cravings of sinful man, the lust of his eyes and the boasting of what he has and does -- comes not from the Father but from the world" (1 John 2:15 - 16).

The book then goes on to describe ways that we can avoid temptation and recognize it for what it is.  It explains several reasons that people go through suffering, and how we can grow and help others through this process.  It shows how to be good friends to our suffering brothers and sisters, without being like Job's friends, who were of no help to Job at all.

I am so grateful for the lessons I have learned in this book, and encourage everyone that reads this blog to give this book a try.  It might open up a whole new life to you.