In the End

I just lost a patient yesterday. This was the second one in two weeks. The facility where I work mostly does rehab, so it has been months since someone died on my unit. The man who died last week had only been there less than a week, and it was expected, but my patient that died yesterday had been with us for almost 4 years, so it was difficult for all of us.

This guy was a real joy to have around. He was very smart and had a great sense of humor. He had had a series of strokes and was unable to walk, so he was in a wheelchair. Whenever someone would push him around a corner, he would yell out, "BEEP BEEP" in his loudest, most authoratative voice, to avoid a potential collision. He kept us all smiling.

His wife, on the other hand, was a bit scary. She had complaints all the time. It seemed that she would not be satisfied unless we could add about a thousand square feet to his room and provide a personal one-on-one assistant. Sometimes, (though infrequently) when I would see her coming, I would sneak out the back door or go down another hallway to avoid her. I know that sounds awful, but it is true.

However, I didn't hide from her because she was a bad person. She was a truly devoted wife, and I know her husband was blessed to have had her for more than 50 years. I hid from her because I felt so inadequate to do anything. I always do the best I can, but in an institutional setting, I can only do so much.

So, yesterday was hard. But it was very good. My patient was awake and talking, wanting to get up for breakfast at 7:00 am. By 10:00 am, he was gone. We had enough time to call the priest, and his family was with him when he finally passed. He did not suffer. And, when his wife melted into my arms when it was over, I knew it was all worth it.