Validation

My Bible study last night was from Luke 7:18 - 35.  It starts out with John the Baptist sending his disciples to inquire if Jesus truly was the long-awaited Messiah.  I was intrigued that someone like John could have doubts.  He knew who Jesus was since he was in his mother's womb, and he would have doubts?  I found it encouraging.  You see, John was in prison.  He had really angered the king, so I am sure he knew that he was never going to be a free man again.  I am sure he was asking himself if he had really made a difference in his life, which he had devoted to serving God.  I feel like that often, too.  Am I really doing what God has intended for me?  Have I somehow missed the mark?  Does my life really make a difference.

I was pleased with Jesus' response:  "Go back and report to John what you have seen and heard:  The blind receive sight, the lame walk, those who have leprosy are cured, the deaf hear, the dead are raised, and the good news is preached to the poor." Vs 22.  Jesus doesn't simply tell him, "Yes!"  He tells him, "look at the facts."  He tells us the same thing.  When I am questioning God, he can tell me, "look at the facts."  "See what I have done for you in the past.  See what I am doing now.  Look at the evidence all around."  God is real.  He is changing lives every day.  The Bible tells us what has happened in the past, we can see His work all around us now, so we can just look at the evidence, and our worries, our fears, our uncertainties can disappear.

Then, Jesus takes the opportunity to address those on the sidelines who were listening, to answer any doubts they may have as well.  He confirms John's call to ministry and his loyalty to God.  Jesus makes a bigger lesson out of one man's doubts, validating the crowd's belief as well.  We can do that too.  When we have questions, and God reveals the answers to us, we can be confident that others are struggling with the same worries and questions.  We can validate them with the help and the hope that God gives us during times of trial and doubt.

I am so glad that our great God is concerned with how we feel and helps us to look out for each other.

chicken coop

This spring, we decided to add chickens to our small farm. What an adventure! When we brought our new baby chicks home, they were so cute and fuzzy! The lady at the feed store gave us some tips on how to get started, and what to expect. But, as is usually the case, the information wasn't nearly complete.

We started our new little chicks in a large bin in the back bedroom of our home, so that they would stay warm and safe. They had to have a red heat lamp on them at all times and the temperature had to be just right. We could decrease the temperature by 5 degrees a week, until they were fully feathered and could tolerate 70 degrees or less.

Well, they quickly grew feathers and outgrew their box. We had to start working on an appropriate living situation for them, and the time was creeping up on us fast. Unfortunately, there are so many things competing for the little free time we have in the early spring. So, we were trying to squeeze in a chicken coop among all the other pressing items on our to-do list.

We are slowly puting together a very nice, appropriate home for our new chickens. But, until it is finished, they are only able to be outside during the day, when someone is around to watch over them. At night, I still have to bring them in and put them back in the box. I know they wish they could stay out all night, but it is not safe, nor is it warm enough at night, yet.

This makes me think about my relationship with God.  Jesus said when he left our little world that he was going to prepare a place for us, and that he would come again and take us to be with him.  He knows that we don't really belong in this "box", but we have to wait just a little while longer, until everything is just right.  When we are ready, and when he has everything in place, we will get to go to our real home, prepared just for us.  Until then, I need to trust him to keep me safe, just as my little chickens need to trust me.

True Faith

This week at my small group Bible study, one of the members commented on how amazed she was at how I have maintained my faith, with the very difficult trial that I have endured in my life over the past year and a half (and is still ongoing).  I could not accept her compliment, as my faith is wavering more than ever.

Not that I don't believe in God.  I am not even questioning that He is sovereign over my situation, as that is truly what has sustained me in the most difficult times.  But I have been questioning what God is up to.  Why has He let it go on for so long?  What lesson am I supposed to be learning?  What am I supposed to be doing with this situation?  (Oh, how I wish I could do something, rather than just trust) Why isn't He giving me more direction?  The questions go on and on.

Now, I just happened to start reading "The Attributes of God" by A.W. Tozer this week.  What a blessing!  My lesson for this week:

"God is above all things, beneath all things, outside of all things and inside of all things.  God is above, but He's not pushed up.  He's beneath, but He's not pressed down.  He's outside, but He's not excluded.  He's inside, but He's not confined.  God is above all things presiding, beneath all things sustaining, outside of all things embracing and inside of all things filling.  That is the immanence of God." p. 22.

Wow!

Then he mirrors what I keep thinking:  "You know, it's awfully hard to get a Christian scared.  It's hard to get him panicked if he really believes in God.  If he's just a church member, you can get him panicked.  But if he really believes in God it's very difficult to do it."

This is the kind of faith I want to have.  My head knows that God is all in all.  There is nothing He can't handle.  He has it covered.  But getting that message to my heart is the difficulty.

So my prayer, for today is, "Lord, I believe.  Help my unbelief!"

 

Praying for Toilet Paper

Many years ago, when I was still in college, with two babies in diapers, I was about as poor as one can be in America, short of being homeless. I had been paying tithe on my meager income for about two years by then. I really felt that I needed the money more than God possibly could, but I chose to give it anyway.

I remember one afternoon sitting on the floor in my small apartment, holding a single dollar bill in my hand, and crying. You see, it would be days before my next check would arrive, and I was completely out of shampoo and toilet paper. I would have to choose which one we needed most, and wait on the other. What was I to do?

I had barely finished praying, when God sent an angel in the form of a dear friend. She came to see me, and she had with her the largest package of toilet paper I had ever seen! (She had been shopping at a new place called “Costco” and had picked up an extra, since it was on sale!). I had never imagined that a blessing could come in the form of toilet paper.

Now, I wouldn't want to lead you to believe that God met my physical and financial needs because I returned tithe. If that were the case, I could say that I earned this blessing because of my faithfulness. It doesn't work that way. Rather, God longs to pour out blessings on each of us in every way possible. When we decide to stop holding back and to offer Him the time (Sabbath) and resources (tithes and offerings) that He asks of us, we receive an even bigger blessing than just having our needs met. We ultimately develop a deep and trusting relationship with God.

God did not need the few dollars that I returned to Him when I was poor. What He really wanted was my heart. When I made the decision to trust Him, even when it didn’t make sense, He was able to show me who he really is, and that was the true blessing!

Re-gifting

Now that the hustle and bustle of the Christmas season is coming to an end, it is time to turn our attention to thoughts of the New Year. But before we do that, I would like to recount one more Christmas story.

I did not grow up in a Christian home, so our traditions were completely secular. One such tradition involved a toy troll. Now, we all know that re-gifting is somewhat tacky, and it is very important to make sure you remember who you received a particular gift from, before you give it away to someone else, in case you might inadvertently give that unwanted gift back to the person who gave it to you. And believe me, they will remember!

I am not sure where the tradition started, but by the time I came along, it had been going on for many years. At some point, someone in the family had given someone else a gift of a small, very ugly troll doll. It had large eyes, and wild hair that stuck out all over. It had really large feet and pointy ears, and its skin was all wrinkly. It had a nose like a pig, and a big round belly. It wore a t-shirt that didn't reach its belly, and tattered shorts. It was so very, very ugly!

The first recipient of that doll must not have seen the same beauty in it that the giver obviously admired, because the following year, it was passed on to a new owner. And the next year, and the next, and so on. It was kind of like the game of Old Maid. No one wanted to be gifted with that troll! You had to really pay attention to who opened the gift with the troll doll in it that year, because next year, you did not want to get a gift from that person, or you would be the next owner of the troll. It got to be kind of interesting as time went on. Sometimes the troll would end up in someone's stocking. Sometime in came by parcel post. But somehow, by the end of the year, the troll would find itself re-gifted to a new home.

Well, this year, I would like you to join me in a re-gifting challenge: What if we took what we were really given for Christmas, and re-gift it throughout the coming year? Have you been given the gift of grace? Try re-gifting it to someone who could use a little grace himself. Have you been forgiven? Offer forgiveness freely to those who don't deserve to be forgiven. Have you been loved? Re-gift that love to someone a little less lovable. Jesus said, “...I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.” (John 10:10). Lets resolve together this new year to share out of our abundance, and re-gift our blessings daily.

Learning the hard way

This mornings readings were right where my heart is:

"We are hard-pressed on every side, yet not crushed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed..." 2 Corinthians 4: 8, 9.

For more than a year now, my family has been in crisis.  I can't give the details now, but it has been more difficult than anything I have ever been through.  As with most things, there are certainly things that I am learning through this struggle, though I wish it were not true that the best lessons in life are learned the hard way.

As some of you know, I am pretty much a control freak.  When I have a problem, I want to jump in and just fix it.  No complaining, no whining, and certainly no asking for help.  Not from anyone; not even from God.  But this current situation is not about me.  It involves someone I love dearly, but it was not a problem that I created, nor is it anything I can fix.  I just have to sit by and watch.  And pray.  And pray, and pray, and pray.

For a year now, that is all I have been able to do.  Of course, I am freely handing out advice (for a situation that I have never experienced and truly have no business advising).  I tell God in my prayers what He should do to resolve the situation.  But nothing changes.  I am still hopeful that very soon now it will all come to a close, and things will get better.  But there are no guarantees.

Learning patience is a real struggle.  I hate waiting.  I hate that God doesn't always say "Yes" to our requests, even when they are tear-soaked and relentless.  I hate that I don't know what God's plan is in all of this.  I hate not knowing if I am supposed to be doing, thinking, or saying something, and I can't figure it out, or if this has nothing to do with me at all.  Maybe it is taking so long because someone else has to learn or do or say or think something.  Maybe someone's salvation is at stake.  Maybe all fo this struggle is to prevent something worse later on.  Maybe we are all just caught in "friendly fire" between God and the enemy.  I have no answers.

All I know, all I have to  hang on to, is that God is sovereign.  Nothing happens on earth that could take God by surprise.  If He is allowing it, then I know it will all be okay soon.  But how soon is soon, when with the Lord a day is as a thousand years, and a thousand years is as a day?

So this is me, hanging on, hoping, praying, and waiting, not so patiently.... 

A Hope and a Future

In my personal daily devotions, I am reading through a chronological Bible.  I would highly recommend this to anyone who hasn't done so already.  This has been such an exciting adventure for me, as i am developing a clearer picture of how each story, each writer, each event fits together.  I have always believed that the Bible was much more cohesive than we tend to believe, but I see it even more clearly now.  I have a much clearer understanding of what was going on in Israel's history, for example, while each of the prophets were writing, as their works are inserted within the history given in Kings and Chronicles.

As I was studying the time period that Judah was in exile in Babylon and Jerusalem and the temple had been destroyed and abandoned, I came across a familiar text:  " 'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.' " Jeremiah 29:11. 

This has always been an inspiring message for me, personally.  Now that I have read it in context, it means even more.  I understand more about where the people were when they received this message, and I knew what the prophet was up against when he professed it.

The people of Judah had defied God openly with their idol worship.  They had rejected His many attempts to bring them back into relationship with and true worship of Himself, and they repeatedly and continuously sought their own way, only pretending to follow Him, if even that.  While they wanted to have His protection from their enemies, and they certainly wanted His blessings in the form of good crops and other forms of wealth, they did not want to surrender their hearts to Him.

So, God finallly sent them away.  He allowed another, more powerful nation to overtake them, to destroy the temple their capitol city, and the surrounding territory, and to take the people into captivity in a faraway land.

Then, He sent prophets to explain to them and to remind them why they were being disciplined.  It was in this context that God reminds His people of His love for them.  his plans were still for their prosperity.  he still desired to bless them.  He was going to bring them back to a relationship with Himself and provide for their future.

What a God!  When I am living my life for myself, with my own agenda, pretending to follow God, but really worshipping myself and my "idols", God still ahs a plan for my life that includes a future with Him!  I may need to spend a period with my heart in captivity, until I remember to turn back to Him, but His heart is always for me.

Romans 15:4 says, "For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through endurance and encouragement of the scriptures we might have hope."

I praise God daily for the hope that He provides, afresh every day.