Tribute to a Dear Friend

I lost a patient this week. She was really much more than a patient. Her name was Irene. She was the only woman I have ever met from her generation that was a U.S. Marine, which in itself speaks volumes of what kind of a woman she was.

Irene came to us a few years ago, after losing her independence to a debilitating illness. She never complained, and never would take a pain pill, even though she was in obvious pain at times, probably much more often than we were aware. She was so stoic, and would always say she was fine, and always had a smile to offer. When she was fitted with a special wheelchair, early in her stay with us, it opened the door for her to regain some of her independence, and that changed not only her life, but ours.

While many people in her condition would have complained about all that they had lost, Irene was a joy! She became president of our facility's resident council, and she took her job very seriously. She openly welcomed newcommers to our facility, and she did everything she could to facilitate meeting each patient's needs. She would bring up issues large or small that needed to be changed, and actively helped to solve the issues, so that our facility could provide everyone the very best care possible. She was a friend to all, and an advocate for those who could not voice thier needs.

She also took care of the nurses and C.N.A.'s. She would make sure our supplies were well-stocked, asking us frequently if there was anything we needed, then going to the office to get them, and delivering them on the back of her electric wheelchair. She would make sure that some of us who tend to work too much would take time to take a break and would remind us to eat when we tried to work through lunch.

More than that, she was everyone's mother. She had 2 amazing children of her own, and grandchildren, too, that she was very proud of. But she was quick to advise and nurture the rest of us, too. We could always count on her for loving counsel, a listening ear, and care and nurturing (even from those of us who were supposed to be nurturing her!) And when the state surveyors would come into our building to inspect us and perhaps find something wrong, Irene was there as an ever-protective mother hen, letting those surveyors know just who they were dealing with, and no one was going to mess with her "family"!

There is not a person in our facility that was not touched in a major way by this amazing woman. It was a shock to all of us to see her leave us so suddenly. But I am amazed at the grace of God, who was merciful in taking her quickly and painlessly, which is the way I know she would have wanted it. In fact, I am certain that this is exactly what she ordered! I know that God loves her so much more than we can imagine, so he was willing to grant her such a quick transition.

In my experience, it seems that we go through so many emotions when we lose a loved one. Most of all, we are caught up with anger and confusion. When we hear of the death of a "bad" person, we feel a sense of justice. But when someone so "good" passes away, we can't understand it. That's why we have the saying that "only the good die young". But God knows a whole lot more about death and what comes next than we can imagine. I know that Irene loved God, and that means that we will be together again soon. And I can't wait to see her again, with our new glorious bodies, unlike anything we now know, where there is no sickness or pain, where everything is new and perfect. I can't wait to see Irene run through the fields on her new, pain-free legs, or soar through the air, or do whatever it is that we will do then, with an even more abundant joy than we shared together in this life. Until then, Irene, you will be sorely missed.

Moment by Moment

I am reading a fabulous book that my best friend gave me for my birthday: "Escape to God," by Jim Hohnberger. In my reading last night, I came across this:

"It is when the world sees us being saved in the present rather than just saved from the past that our lives will demonstrate that we have the power of God rather than just a form of godliness."

Wow! That is exactly how I want to live my life! Sometimes, when I am living like that, focused on God and what He is guiding me to do in any given situation, it all seems so right. But when I rely on myself to make my decisions, I tend to blow it. It is like the cartoon I keep on my wall in my office: "Dear Lord, So far today I am doing really good. I haven't yelled, haven't lost my temper, haven't sworn, and I haven't even eaten any chocolate. But I will be getting out of bed soon, and then I think I am really gonna need your help!"

I hope you are having a great day. Remember to stay plugged in to the source of your strength, and listen to his leading...he will take you far beyond your wildest imaginings!

childlike prayer

With all the changes in my life over the past year, I have been thinking a lot about my grandpa. He has been gone more than 10 years now, and sometimes my heart aches for him. I was thinking especially about the times we used to share in the garden lately. I remeber how each spring he would go off to some magical place, probably his backyard, and come back with a bouquet of pussywillows. I remember stroking them, and feeling the soft, furlike texture of each blossom, amazed that a plant could be so special. Grandpa would always send me home with a branch to remind me of the experience. (he did the same in the summer with 4 leaf clovers, which also grew in some magical place in his yard).

While I was reminiscing, I was taken by how little I really knew about the things I know he wanted to teach me. Why didn't I listen better? I really wished I knew where those pussywillows came from. I remember praying a quaint little prayer, "God, it would be really special if you could send me a pussywillow branch this spring." I stopped there: how absurd to pray for a tree branch! But the memories lingered.

I looked up pussywillow in the dictionary: A small willow tree that grows in the U.S. Not very helpful. "Maybe I could find some at the florist? I didn't have time for that. Oh, well." I thought to myself. Then the amazing thing happened:

On Sunday morning, I went for my usual walk, down our long road. To my amazement, there on the side of the road was a willow tree in full blossom -- pussywillows! They must have been growing there for at least 10 years, and I had never noticed them before. I quickly gathered a bundle and brought them home, displaying them fondly on the shelf. How pleased I was that God answered my childlike prayer.

As you know, I have been struggling with the idea of prayer for quite some time. God knows this too. Maybe that is why he keeps me in the primary class at church, so I can learn along with the 7, 8, & 9 year olds, how to trust him with everything and to share with him about everything! Praise God that He blesses the smallest prayers in faith!

The Woman of Shunem

In my devotions this morning, I was studying this passage from 2 Kings, chapter 4:

Elisha and the Woman from Shunem
8 One day Elisha went to the town of Shunem. A wealthy woman lived there, and she urged him to come to her home for a meal. After that, whenever he passed that way, he would stop there for something to eat.
9 She said to her husband, “I am sure this man who stops in from time to time is a holy man of God. 10 Let’s build a small room for him on the roof and furnish it with a bed, a table, a chair, and a lamp. Then he will have a place to stay whenever he comes by.”
11 One day Elisha returned to Shunem, and he went up to this upper room to rest. 12 He said to his servant Gehazi, “Tell the woman from Shunem I want to speak to her.” When she appeared, 13 Elisha said to Gehazi, “Tell her, ‘We appreciate the kind concern you have shown us. What can we do for you? Can we put in a good word for you to the king or to the commander of the army?’”
“No,” she replied, “my family takes good care of me.”
14 Later Elisha asked Gehazi, “What can we do for her?”
Gehazi replied, “She doesn’t have a son, and her husband is an old man.”
15 “Call her back again,” Elisha told him. When the woman returned, Elisha said to her as she stood in the doorway, 16 “Next year at this time you will be holding a son in your arms!”
“No, my lord!” she cried. “O man of God, don’t deceive me and get my hopes up like that.”
17 But sure enough, the woman soon became pregnant. And at that time the following year she had a son, just as Elisha had said.
18 One day when her child was older, he went out to help his father, who was working with the harvesters. 19 Suddenly he cried out, “My head hurts! My head hurts!”
His father said to one of the servants, “Carry him home to his mother.”
20 So the servant took him home, and his mother held him on her lap. But around noontime he died. 21 She carried him up and laid him on the bed of the man of God, then shut the door and left him there. 22 She sent a message to her husband: “Send one of the servants and a donkey so that I can hurry to the man of God and come right back.”
23 “Why go today?” he asked. “It is neither a new moon festival nor a Sabbath.”
But she said, “It will be all right.”
24 So she saddled the donkey and said to the servant, “Hurry! Don’t slow down unless I tell you to.”
25 As she approached the man of God at Mount Carmel, Elisha saw her in the distance. He said to Gehazi, “Look, the woman from Shunem is coming. 26 Run out to meet her and ask her, ‘Is everything all right with you, your husband, and your child?’”
“Yes,” the woman told Gehazi, “everything is fine.”
27 But when she came to the man of God at the mountain, she fell to the ground before him and caught hold of his feet. Gehazi began to push her away, but the man of God said, “Leave her alone. She is deeply troubled, but the Lord has not told me what it is.”
28 Then she said, “Did I ask you for a son, my lord? And didn’t I say, ‘Don’t deceive me and get my hopes up’?”
29 Then Elisha said to Gehazi, “Get ready to travel[a]; take my staff and go! Don’t talk to anyone along the way. Go quickly and lay the staff on the child’s face.”
30 But the boy’s mother said, “As surely as the Lord lives and you yourself live, I won’t go home unless you go with me.” So Elisha returned with her.
31 Gehazi hurried on ahead and laid the staff on the child’s face, but nothing happened. There was no sign of life. He returned to meet Elisha and told him, “The child is still dead.”
32 When Elisha arrived, the child was indeed dead, lying there on the prophet’s bed. 33 He went in alone and shut the door behind him and prayed to the Lord. 34 Then he lay down on the child’s body, placing his mouth on the child’s mouth, his eyes on the child’s eyes, and his hands on the child’s hands. And as he stretched out on him, the child’s body began to grow warm again! 35 Elisha got up, walked back and forth across the room once, and then stretched himself out again on the child. This time the boy sneezed seven times and opened his eyes!
36 Then Elisha summoned Gehazi. “Call the child’s mother!” he said. And when she came in, Elisha said, “Here, take your son!” 37 She fell at his feet and bowed before him, overwhelmed with gratitude. Then she took her son in her arms and carried him downstairs.

I can relate to this story on so many levels! First of all, I am a lot like the Shunamite woman. I feel so much like her when I don't ask God for the desires of my heart because I don't want to be disappointed. I have so often held back, because I know that when I ask God for a certain blessing, He can certainly say, "No." I almost said, "he is very likely to say no." This is how I often feel. But the truth is, He is just as likely to say "yes". So, when Jesus says, "You do not have because you do not ask," this is true of me. I hold back due to fear of being disappointed when I don't get what I ask for. Then I still don't get it, because I didn't ask! How disappointing!

Also, I am like the woman in this story in that I hold back from others. This woman was not a widow. She had a hard-working, involved husband. When He asked his wife what was happening, she told him, essentially, "everything is fine, dear, just go back to work." She told Elisha's servant the same thing, "everything is fine." Only when she got to Elisha, who in this case represented God in her life, did she tell the truth about what was really on her heart. How often I have done the same thing! I am always fine, even when my heart is breaking. Very often, I hold back from my friends, and even my family. Sometimes even God.

Finally, I identify with Elisha in this story. I have had so many times when I felt God's work in my life, when I knew that God was doing great things for me and for others through me, but when it came time to make a bold move, God seemed quiet. When Elisha saw the woman coming, he knew something was wrong, but "the Lord has not told me what it is." I hate the silence of God! I want to know what his plans are. I want to know "why" things are happening, and "what" he wants me to do. But most of the time his answer to me is the same as to Elisha, "Be patient. Pay attention. You'll see in a minute." UGH, Patience. That is a hard one. That means we have to rely on trusting God when we don't know the outcome. That will take a lifetime.

I am thankful for God's word, which teaches us that in the end, it will all come together, and even a stubborn, impatient, control-freak such as myself will one day "get it", and God will teach even me what it means to trust in the Lord.

more thoughts on prayer

Last week I was invited to participate in an annointing service for my best friend's daughter. She has a congenital health condition, but now is having symptoms that may be physical, emotional, or spiritual -- perhaps a combination of all three. Traditional medical treatment and counselling have not helped, so they decided to have an annointing service and ask God for divine intervention. I was grateful to be asked to take part in the service, and I thought I would share my thoughts:

First, I was amazed to find that this young woman has many of the same questions as I do in regard to prayer. Why does God choose to do miracles sometimes, but seems to ignore our requests at other times? My young friend recounted a time when she was on a missionary trip, and a woman desperately needed a miracle. The group prayed earnestly, yet no miracle seemed to happen. Why wouldn't God intervene, at a time when thousands could have been impacted, in addition to the woman who was desperate for healing?

In my friend's case, she was hesitant to have the annointing, because, as she put it, "If I pray and ask Him for healing, and I put my faith in Him, and he doesn't do anything, I don't want to be disappointed." What are we mere mortals to do with this? I feel the same way so often. What right have I to even ask Him? (The answer, of course, is that throughout the Bible, He encourages us, even commands us to ask Him for whatever we need).

The biggest problem, for me, is that while He promises to hear my prayers, even to answer them, He never promises that the answer will be "Yes," or even, "maybe," or even to give me a response at all. That is so frustrating! I am to ask Him, to expect that whatever His response is, that it is what is best, and to trust Him to do what is right, all the while knowing that like Job, I may be left in the dark my entire life in regard to what His answer is or why the answer comes the way it does.

Then, I can't shake the question: If I pray for healing, such as for my friend, and God has other plans, is it still worth asking in the first place? Why should I ask him to help someone, if he already has a plan for that person? Is he going to change his plans, or change his mind just because I, or someone else, or a whole group of people, or even millions of people ask him? I think of Abraham pleading for God to be lenient with the people in Sodom. I think of the Israelites asking God for a King. I know that God could agree to change his mind, but would I want him to give me what I want instead of what He knows is right?

So many questions! For those of you that follow this blog regularly, you know this has been a lengthy struggle. I have searched the scriptures, I have read book after book on prayer, and I am even praying about praying! What I am finding is that God, for now, wants me to learn through experience. He wants me to "try him out for size" as the saying goes. So, here I am, praying, hoping, that my friend will find healing, and that in the process, I will keep learning with each step, as I practice praying in different manners and for different things, and as I keep growing in my relationship with my maker and king.

It's never too late

I want to tell you about a patient I had. I'll call him Tommy. Tommy had a heart attack, and had to have surgery. While he was in surgery, he had a bad stroke. No one thought he had a chance in making it out of the hospital alive, and if he did, they were sure he would be in bad, bad shape thereafter. He was in the hospital for weeks. While he was there, he ended up sharing a room with another man.

One day, the roommate had some visitors who came and prayed with the man. The visitors then came and prayed over Tommy, who was still on a breathing machine and unable to interact with the world around him, though he could hear what was going on. He told me later, "I know that God heard their prayers, because I am here now."

Tommy came to our facility for rehab, to help him learn to walk, to feed himself, and to do all of the daily activities that the rest of us take for granted. He shared his story with me, and I asked him if he wanted to join our small prayer group that meets in my office every morning. He was excited and gladly joined us. Tommy ended up accepting Jesus as his savior and was even baptized by the chaplain at our facility before he was discharged home.

Tommy's life was changed, and we were all blessed to watch the changes taking place. He was such an encouragement to the other patients. He would eat in our assist dining room, though he did not need assistance any longer. He would tell the other men at the table, "Joe, you gotta drink your juice. You aren't gonna get better if you don't drink." He worked hard at his own rehab and did everything he could to help the others get well, too.

Now, Tommy comes in twice a week to continue his rehab on an outpatient basis. After his therapy, he stops by my office, "Come on, Terri, it's time to pray." He has led us in some amazing prayers. He is more alive now than ever!

Then, a couple of weeks ago, I felt a strong urge to give him a copy of my latest book. I am not one to toot my own horn, and I don't push my books at my job, but I couldn't shake the thought that I needed to give him one. So I did.

Last week, he stopped by again, and reported to me that he was so thankful for the book, that it had changed his life. He recounted the years of abuse he had endured from his father, and how his sister would take him under her wing and care for him after the beatings. He had never thanked her, and he left home angry and bitter. He says that he was an angry man and had often taken it out on his wife and children. "No more," he said. "I understand now what happened, and God has healed my heart. I called my sister after all these years, and I was able to thank her. We are now able to talk and have a new relationship." He was so thankful for the words in the book, that God had, especially for him.

I learned a lot from him, too. I learned that God can use us to encourage others no matter what our circumstances. I learned that God doesn't give up on us, even if we waste many years following another path. What an awesome God!

Touche

Last week, in the class I teach at my church, I was bested by one of my students. My co-teacher asked for a volunteer to help with a project. She said he/she needed to be a very good reader to help with the next activity. David, who is new to our class, raised his hand frantically. The teacher chose another student, and David looked very sad. In an effort to comfort him, I said, "David, we needed someone who is a very good reader this time," to which David replied, "I am a very good reader! I can read the original 'Count of Monte Cristo.' " I was sure I had him now: "David, do you know that the original 'Count of Monte Cristo' is in French?" David's reply: "Bon Jour!"

Touche, David!