Friday, March 19, 2010

Moment by Moment

I am reading a fabulous book that my best friend gave me for my birthday: "Escape to God," by Jim Hohnberger. In my reading last night, I came across this:

"It is when the world sees us being saved in the present rather than just saved from the past that our lives will demonstrate that we have the power of God rather than just a form of godliness."

Wow! That is exactly how I want to live my life! Sometimes, when I am living like that, focused on God and what He is guiding me to do in any given situation, it all seems so right. But when I rely on myself to make my decisions, I tend to blow it. It is like the cartoon I keep on my wall in my office: "Dear Lord, So far today I am doing really good. I haven't yelled, haven't lost my temper, haven't sworn, and I haven't even eaten any chocolate. But I will be getting out of bed soon, and then I think I am really gonna need your help!"

I hope you are having a great day. Remember to stay plugged in to the source of your strength, and listen to his leading...he will take you far beyond your wildest imaginings!

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

childlike prayer

With all the changes in my life over the past year, I have been thinking a lot about my grandpa. He has been gone more than 10 years now, and sometimes my heart aches for him. I was thinking especially about the times we used to share in the garden lately. I remeber how each spring he would go off to some magical place, probably his backyard, and come back with a bouquet of pussywillows. I remember stroking them, and feeling the soft, furlike texture of each blossom, amazed that a plant could be so special. Grandpa would always send me home with a branch to remind me of the experience. (he did the same in the summer with 4 leaf clovers, which also grew in some magical place in his yard).

While I was reminiscing, I was taken by how little I really knew about the things I know he wanted to teach me. Why didn't I listen better? I really wished I knew where those pussywillows came from. I remember praying a quaint little prayer, "God, it would be really special if you could send me a pussywillow branch this spring." I stopped there: how absurd to pray for a tree branch! But the memories lingered.

I looked up pussywillow in the dictionary: A small willow tree that grows in the U.S. Not very helpful. "Maybe I could find some at the florist? I didn't have time for that. Oh, well." I thought to myself. Then the amazing thing happened:

On Sunday morning, I went for my usual walk, down our long road. To my amazement, there on the side of the road was a willow tree in full blossom -- pussywillows! They must have been growing there for at least 10 years, and I had never noticed them before. I quickly gathered a bundle and brought them home, displaying them fondly on the shelf. How pleased I was that God answered my childlike prayer.

As you know, I have been struggling with the idea of prayer for quite some time. God knows this too. Maybe that is why he keeps me in the primary class at church, so I can learn along with the 7, 8, & 9 year olds, how to trust him with everything and to share with him about everything! Praise God that He blesses the smallest prayers in faith!

Friday, March 5, 2010

The Woman of Shunem

In my devotions this morning, I was studying this passage from 2 Kings, chapter 4:

Elisha and the Woman from Shunem
8 One day Elisha went to the town of Shunem. A wealthy woman lived there, and she urged him to come to her home for a meal. After that, whenever he passed that way, he would stop there for something to eat.
9 She said to her husband, “I am sure this man who stops in from time to time is a holy man of God. 10 Let’s build a small room for him on the roof and furnish it with a bed, a table, a chair, and a lamp. Then he will have a place to stay whenever he comes by.”
11 One day Elisha returned to Shunem, and he went up to this upper room to rest. 12 He said to his servant Gehazi, “Tell the woman from Shunem I want to speak to her.” When she appeared, 13 Elisha said to Gehazi, “Tell her, ‘We appreciate the kind concern you have shown us. What can we do for you? Can we put in a good word for you to the king or to the commander of the army?’”
“No,” she replied, “my family takes good care of me.”
14 Later Elisha asked Gehazi, “What can we do for her?”
Gehazi replied, “She doesn’t have a son, and her husband is an old man.”
15 “Call her back again,” Elisha told him. When the woman returned, Elisha said to her as she stood in the doorway, 16 “Next year at this time you will be holding a son in your arms!”
“No, my lord!” she cried. “O man of God, don’t deceive me and get my hopes up like that.”
17 But sure enough, the woman soon became pregnant. And at that time the following year she had a son, just as Elisha had said.
18 One day when her child was older, he went out to help his father, who was working with the harvesters. 19 Suddenly he cried out, “My head hurts! My head hurts!”
His father said to one of the servants, “Carry him home to his mother.”
20 So the servant took him home, and his mother held him on her lap. But around noontime he died. 21 She carried him up and laid him on the bed of the man of God, then shut the door and left him there. 22 She sent a message to her husband: “Send one of the servants and a donkey so that I can hurry to the man of God and come right back.”
23 “Why go today?” he asked. “It is neither a new moon festival nor a Sabbath.”
But she said, “It will be all right.”
24 So she saddled the donkey and said to the servant, “Hurry! Don’t slow down unless I tell you to.”
25 As she approached the man of God at Mount Carmel, Elisha saw her in the distance. He said to Gehazi, “Look, the woman from Shunem is coming. 26 Run out to meet her and ask her, ‘Is everything all right with you, your husband, and your child?’”
“Yes,” the woman told Gehazi, “everything is fine.”
27 But when she came to the man of God at the mountain, she fell to the ground before him and caught hold of his feet. Gehazi began to push her away, but the man of God said, “Leave her alone. She is deeply troubled, but the Lord has not told me what it is.”
28 Then she said, “Did I ask you for a son, my lord? And didn’t I say, ‘Don’t deceive me and get my hopes up’?”
29 Then Elisha said to Gehazi, “Get ready to travel[a]; take my staff and go! Don’t talk to anyone along the way. Go quickly and lay the staff on the child’s face.”
30 But the boy’s mother said, “As surely as the Lord lives and you yourself live, I won’t go home unless you go with me.” So Elisha returned with her.
31 Gehazi hurried on ahead and laid the staff on the child’s face, but nothing happened. There was no sign of life. He returned to meet Elisha and told him, “The child is still dead.”
32 When Elisha arrived, the child was indeed dead, lying there on the prophet’s bed. 33 He went in alone and shut the door behind him and prayed to the Lord. 34 Then he lay down on the child’s body, placing his mouth on the child’s mouth, his eyes on the child’s eyes, and his hands on the child’s hands. And as he stretched out on him, the child’s body began to grow warm again! 35 Elisha got up, walked back and forth across the room once, and then stretched himself out again on the child. This time the boy sneezed seven times and opened his eyes!
36 Then Elisha summoned Gehazi. “Call the child’s mother!” he said. And when she came in, Elisha said, “Here, take your son!” 37 She fell at his feet and bowed before him, overwhelmed with gratitude. Then she took her son in her arms and carried him downstairs.

I can relate to this story on so many levels! First of all, I am a lot like the Shunamite woman. I feel so much like her when I don't ask God for the desires of my heart because I don't want to be disappointed. I have so often held back, because I know that when I ask God for a certain blessing, He can certainly say, "No." I almost said, "he is very likely to say no." This is how I often feel. But the truth is, He is just as likely to say "yes". So, when Jesus says, "You do not have because you do not ask," this is true of me. I hold back due to fear of being disappointed when I don't get what I ask for. Then I still don't get it, because I didn't ask! How disappointing!

Also, I am like the woman in this story in that I hold back from others. This woman was not a widow. She had a hard-working, involved husband. When He asked his wife what was happening, she told him, essentially, "everything is fine, dear, just go back to work." She told Elisha's servant the same thing, "everything is fine." Only when she got to Elisha, who in this case represented God in her life, did she tell the truth about what was really on her heart. How often I have done the same thing! I am always fine, even when my heart is breaking. Very often, I hold back from my friends, and even my family. Sometimes even God.

Finally, I identify with Elisha in this story. I have had so many times when I felt God's work in my life, when I knew that God was doing great things for me and for others through me, but when it came time to make a bold move, God seemed quiet. When Elisha saw the woman coming, he knew something was wrong, but "the Lord has not told me what it is." I hate the silence of God! I want to know what his plans are. I want to know "why" things are happening, and "what" he wants me to do. But most of the time his answer to me is the same as to Elisha, "Be patient. Pay attention. You'll see in a minute." UGH, Patience. That is a hard one. That means we have to rely on trusting God when we don't know the outcome. That will take a lifetime.

I am thankful for God's word, which teaches us that in the end, it will all come together, and even a stubborn, impatient, control-freak such as myself will one day "get it", and God will teach even me what it means to trust in the Lord.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

more thoughts on prayer

Last week I was invited to participate in an annointing service for my best friend's daughter. She has a congenital health condition, but now is having symptoms that may be physical, emotional, or spiritual -- perhaps a combination of all three. Traditional medical treatment and counselling have not helped, so they decided to have an annointing service and ask God for divine intervention. I was grateful to be asked to take part in the service, and I thought I would share my thoughts:

First, I was amazed to find that this young woman has many of the same questions as I do in regard to prayer. Why does God choose to do miracles sometimes, but seems to ignore our requests at other times? My young friend recounted a time when she was on a missionary trip, and a woman desperately needed a miracle. The group prayed earnestly, yet no miracle seemed to happen. Why wouldn't God intervene, at a time when thousands could have been impacted, in addition to the woman who was desperate for healing?

In my friend's case, she was hesitant to have the annointing, because, as she put it, "If I pray and ask Him for healing, and I put my faith in Him, and he doesn't do anything, I don't want to be disappointed." What are we mere mortals to do with this? I feel the same way so often. What right have I to even ask Him? (The answer, of course, is that throughout the Bible, He encourages us, even commands us to ask Him for whatever we need).

The biggest problem, for me, is that while He promises to hear my prayers, even to answer them, He never promises that the answer will be "Yes," or even, "maybe," or even to give me a response at all. That is so frustrating! I am to ask Him, to expect that whatever His response is, that it is what is best, and to trust Him to do what is right, all the while knowing that like Job, I may be left in the dark my entire life in regard to what His answer is or why the answer comes the way it does.

Then, I can't shake the question: If I pray for healing, such as for my friend, and God has other plans, is it still worth asking in the first place? Why should I ask him to help someone, if he already has a plan for that person? Is he going to change his plans, or change his mind just because I, or someone else, or a whole group of people, or even millions of people ask him? I think of Abraham pleading for God to be lenient with the people in Sodom. I think of the Israelites asking God for a King. I know that God could agree to change his mind, but would I want him to give me what I want instead of what He knows is right?

So many questions! For those of you that follow this blog regularly, you know this has been a lengthy struggle. I have searched the scriptures, I have read book after book on prayer, and I am even praying about praying! What I am finding is that God, for now, wants me to learn through experience. He wants me to "try him out for size" as the saying goes. So, here I am, praying, hoping, that my friend will find healing, and that in the process, I will keep learning with each step, as I practice praying in different manners and for different things, and as I keep growing in my relationship with my maker and king.

Saturday, January 23, 2010

It's never too late

I want to tell you about a patient I had. I'll call him Tommy. Tommy had a heart attack, and had to have surgery. While he was in surgery, he had a bad stroke. No one thought he had a chance in making it out of the hospital alive, and if he did, they were sure he would be in bad, bad shape thereafter. He was in the hospital for weeks. While he was there, he ended up sharing a room with another man.

One day, the roommate had some visitors who came and prayed with the man. The visitors then came and prayed over Tommy, who was still on a breathing machine and unable to interact with the world around him, though he could hear what was going on. He told me later, "I know that God heard their prayers, because I am here now."

Tommy came to our facility for rehab, to help him learn to walk, to feed himself, and to do all of the daily activities that the rest of us take for granted. He shared his story with me, and I asked him if he wanted to join our small prayer group that meets in my office every morning. He was excited and gladly joined us. Tommy ended up accepting Jesus as his savior and was even baptized by the chaplain at our facility before he was discharged home.

Tommy's life was changed, and we were all blessed to watch the changes taking place. He was such an encouragement to the other patients. He would eat in our assist dining room, though he did not need assistance any longer. He would tell the other men at the table, "Joe, you gotta drink your juice. You aren't gonna get better if you don't drink." He worked hard at his own rehab and did everything he could to help the others get well, too.

Now, Tommy comes in twice a week to continue his rehab on an outpatient basis. After his therapy, he stops by my office, "Come on, Terri, it's time to pray." He has led us in some amazing prayers. He is more alive now than ever!

Then, a couple of weeks ago, I felt a strong urge to give him a copy of my latest book. I am not one to toot my own horn, and I don't push my books at my job, but I couldn't shake the thought that I needed to give him one. So I did.

Last week, he stopped by again, and reported to me that he was so thankful for the book, that it had changed his life. He recounted the years of abuse he had endured from his father, and how his sister would take him under her wing and care for him after the beatings. He had never thanked her, and he left home angry and bitter. He says that he was an angry man and had often taken it out on his wife and children. "No more," he said. "I understand now what happened, and God has healed my heart. I called my sister after all these years, and I was able to thank her. We are now able to talk and have a new relationship." He was so thankful for the words in the book, that God had, especially for him.

I learned a lot from him, too. I learned that God can use us to encourage others no matter what our circumstances. I learned that God doesn't give up on us, even if we waste many years following another path. What an awesome God!

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Touche

Last week, in the class I teach at my church, I was bested by one of my students. My co-teacher asked for a volunteer to help with a project. She said he/she needed to be a very good reader to help with the next activity. David, who is new to our class, raised his hand frantically. The teacher chose another student, and David looked very sad. In an effort to comfort him, I said, "David, we needed someone who is a very good reader this time," to which David replied, "I am a very good reader! I can read the original 'Count of Monte Cristo.' " I was sure I had him now: "David, do you know that the original 'Count of Monte Cristo' is in French?" David's reply: "Bon Jour!"

Touche, David!

Sunday, November 29, 2009

Why Does God Allow Suffering?

I can't believe it has been so long since my last post! With projects around the house and overtime at work, time just flies by! I have still had many, many opportunities lately to discuss and encourage others in their walk with the Lord! I have had multiple encounters lately based on one theme: why does God allow suffering?

This seems to be the biggest challenge for believers and seekers alike. My own grandfather refused to believe in God for many, many years because he couldn't find a suitable answer for his question. So, how did I answer my friends?

Unfortunately, there is no one-liner to cover such a complex and important issue, so it takes some time to explain. It has to do with several factors.

First of all, we have to look at sin and how it entered our universe. It originally surfaced in heaven, of all places. Satan, who started out as an angel, began to question God's ruling. He became jealous. He coveted God's position and wanted it for himself. (see Ezekiel 28:17 and Isaiah 14:12 -14) He started a war in heaven with his accusations and was able to decieve 1/3 of the angels (see Revelation 12:7 -9). (Side note: King David's son, Absalom, did the same thing, nearly destroying the nation of Israel).

Now, what was a God of love to do? He could have simply annihilated Satan and all of the fallen angels and eradicated sin and rebellion right then and there, sparing the universe from the possiblity of sin and pain. But how would the angels and the onlooking universe have reacted? Would they still follow Him in love, or would they follow Him out of fear? Would they start to believe that perhaps Satan was right, and doubt for themselves? No, God chose another option: to let sin run its full course, vindicating His character for all the universe to see.

That takes us to the next point: God designed us for a relationship with Him. He wants us to love Him and to interact with Him. He designed us with freedom of choice, freedom to choose to follow Him, to love Him fully and openly, or to deny Him and ignore Him as we see fit. Only then can we truly have a love relationship with Him. If He designed us without the capability to choose, we would be more like robots, and we would only follow Him, not love Him.

God then made an unimaginable choice, to allow Satan to test and subject us all to all manner of sin. God knew that we would fall to this temptation, but out of His amazing love, he designed a plan in which we could all be saved, even when we fall. Part of God Himself, Jesus, would come to earth, live a perfect life, and die for us, in our place, sufferring the punishment that is truly due to Satan and his followers. So, with the plan in hand, He let it all play out.

With the choices open to us, and with Satan making accusations against God's character, the way was opened for the sin and pain that we see all around us. See the story of Job in the Bible for an example of what is going on behind the scenes. This man, Job (pronounced JOBE), was a righteous man. He followed God and loved Him with all his heart. Satan accused God, stating that no one could really love God, and that Job only followed Him and claimed to love Him because God had blessed him. If God would withold his blessings, then Job would surely turn away from God. But God knew Job truly loved Him, and so he allowed Satan to put all kinds of suffering on Job. Satan cursed Job, killed his entire family, took away all of his posessions, and even struck Job with a painful, but not deadly, illness, which made Job suffer immensely.

To make things even worse, Job's "friends" misunderstood the whole thing and kept telling Job that he must have brought it all on himself, and tried to make him abandon his faith. He had no support at all. In the end, God blessed Job, after he passed the test, and God restored much more to Job than what he had lost.

This helps to explain what happens to us in this life. Sometimes we are tested, as Job was. It may be for us, to strengthen our own faith. It may be for others that are watching, as it was in Job's case. Other times, our suffering has more to do with natural consequences of our own foolishness, or we are victims of another's bad choices.

In any case, the reason for a Christian's faith is not that we expect to avoid suffering. Quite the opposite, we expect it. We know that every person on Earth, by virtue of the world we live in, will experience suffering. But God has promised us two things: He will be with us in all of our troubles, and He will make all things right when the time is right. (see 2 Corinthians 4:16 -18; 2 Peter 3:9)