Something truly amazing happened to me this week: a dear friend of mine accepted Christ and was baptized on Sunday! While I can't take credit for leading her to Christ (that is the Holy Spirit's job), I was able to be a part of the process. A few of us have been praying for this dear sister for years. We offered her support, I shared my book with her, I brought her a Bible and explained how it is organized and how to find the information she needs within it, and another friend took her to some meetings at her church. And she met God and was changed.
I am so humbled and honored each time God allows me a small part in His plans. He could easily change each one of us without any human interference, but instead, He chooses to let us be his "body" on earth and to do His work down here. Us. With all of our flaws and insecurities and ineptness. He gives us encouragement and guidance, and then lets us have a part in making miracles happen in each other's lives. What an amazing gift! I am truly blessed. I love God more and more every day, and I can't wait to meet him face to face!
Friday, November 16, 2007
Wednesday, November 7, 2007
A Miracle
I can't describe it as anything but a miracle. I am used to writing whole chapters, not pages, so I will try to keep it short without missing the important points:
If you have been reading this blog, you know my struggles with prayer, "Why, How, Does it help?" etc. You also know that I have a very hard time praying out loud, with other people around (which is one more reason to do it). Well, my coworker, Julie, recently suggested that we pray together in the mornings. Now, I already pray every morning, once with my daughter, and once on my own, but I need the practice praying with others, and it certainly doesn't hurt anything, so I agreed.
Also, I have been praying specifically (on my own) for God to change my way of coping with things. I am a type-A personality. I worry and fret about everything. I am a perfectionist. I cannot delegate anything on my to-do list, because it may not get done the way I want it done. (Or, it may not get done at all, or it may cause some disaster that I will have to fix later). I am driven to be the best at everything I do. And it is all overwhelming! Sometimes I am so pressured and overloaded that I break down in tears. I have been praying for deliverance from this for so long.
Now for the miracle:
This Monday was "one of those days." Everything went wrong. It had been a terrible weekend, and I am the manager. So my to-do list included a lot of investigation and damage control.
I have a patient with a very difficult family, that luckily lives several states away. Howeve, they came to town over the weekend, and of course, the patient had an event that was mishandled while they were there. Oh, how I wished it had been some other patient! I didn't want to deal with this family.
I also had a total of 6 incidents (falls, minor skin issues) that needed investigation (the investigation often takes up to 2 hours each to complete all the paperwork). Six is my all time record, by the way. Also, we somehow sent a dementia patient to the doctor, when she actually did not have an appointment. And no one went with her. The family was mad, the doctor's office was mad (and called me 5 times to make sure I knew it). And several personal items were reported missing from various rooms over the weekend. Additionally, the doctor made rounds, there were orders to take off, and it was the day I normally do wound assessments, which takes about 2 hours.
Luckily (providencially?) I had help. Julie started the day with prayer; the social worker also joined us. Julie handled many of the tasks, even taking on one of the incident investigations and handling all of the doctor orders. One by one, the problems all got handled. (Even the ones I didn't take care of myself...hmmm). My patient returned safely (everyone was upset, but she was safe, and that is what mattered most). All of the work got done. Most everyone was pleased by the end of the day, even the difficult family. Best of all? I never cried. I knew that God was with me, that I could trust him to handle it all, to give me the skills, the words, the help, and the time to pull it all together. And I felt at peace with it all for the first time ever!
This may not have involved burning bushes, flying angels, or other supernatural events, but for God to change a heart like mine, to free me from worry and anxiety on a day like this, let there be no mistake, was nothing short of a miracle!
If you have been reading this blog, you know my struggles with prayer, "Why, How, Does it help?" etc. You also know that I have a very hard time praying out loud, with other people around (which is one more reason to do it). Well, my coworker, Julie, recently suggested that we pray together in the mornings. Now, I already pray every morning, once with my daughter, and once on my own, but I need the practice praying with others, and it certainly doesn't hurt anything, so I agreed.
Also, I have been praying specifically (on my own) for God to change my way of coping with things. I am a type-A personality. I worry and fret about everything. I am a perfectionist. I cannot delegate anything on my to-do list, because it may not get done the way I want it done. (Or, it may not get done at all, or it may cause some disaster that I will have to fix later). I am driven to be the best at everything I do. And it is all overwhelming! Sometimes I am so pressured and overloaded that I break down in tears. I have been praying for deliverance from this for so long.
Now for the miracle:
This Monday was "one of those days." Everything went wrong. It had been a terrible weekend, and I am the manager. So my to-do list included a lot of investigation and damage control.
I have a patient with a very difficult family, that luckily lives several states away. Howeve, they came to town over the weekend, and of course, the patient had an event that was mishandled while they were there. Oh, how I wished it had been some other patient! I didn't want to deal with this family.
I also had a total of 6 incidents (falls, minor skin issues) that needed investigation (the investigation often takes up to 2 hours each to complete all the paperwork). Six is my all time record, by the way. Also, we somehow sent a dementia patient to the doctor, when she actually did not have an appointment. And no one went with her. The family was mad, the doctor's office was mad (and called me 5 times to make sure I knew it). And several personal items were reported missing from various rooms over the weekend. Additionally, the doctor made rounds, there were orders to take off, and it was the day I normally do wound assessments, which takes about 2 hours.
Luckily (providencially?) I had help. Julie started the day with prayer; the social worker also joined us. Julie handled many of the tasks, even taking on one of the incident investigations and handling all of the doctor orders. One by one, the problems all got handled. (Even the ones I didn't take care of myself...hmmm). My patient returned safely (everyone was upset, but she was safe, and that is what mattered most). All of the work got done. Most everyone was pleased by the end of the day, even the difficult family. Best of all? I never cried. I knew that God was with me, that I could trust him to handle it all, to give me the skills, the words, the help, and the time to pull it all together. And I felt at peace with it all for the first time ever!
This may not have involved burning bushes, flying angels, or other supernatural events, but for God to change a heart like mine, to free me from worry and anxiety on a day like this, let there be no mistake, was nothing short of a miracle!
Friday, November 2, 2007
How Big is God?
Do you ever have those moments when something you have known forever suddenly hits you in a completely different way? I have recently had just such an experience.
It started when I went on vacation. My husband and I flew across the country to visit our kids. We were taking turns as to which of us got the window seat. On one of my turns, we were flying through the clouds. Some of the time, the clouds were light and were spread out enough that we got occasional glimpses of the landscape below. At one point, however, the clouds became so dense that they completely obscured the wing of our plane, just feet from our window. The though hit me, "How does God see us through the clouds?"
I was struck by how awesome God is that He can look out from wherever His throne happens to be in the heavens, across the galaxy, through the atmosphere, through the shell of the plane, to see me sitting in my seat!
Then I started imagining how God could not only see me seated on that plane, but, simultaneously, He could see someone else in Africa or China, around the curve of the earth! In my finite mind, I always consider that by being made in God's image, that somehow God should be confined by the same boundaries that limit my human existance. It amazes me that God can have an existance, as a Being, with a shape and form, and yet He can not only be right with me wherevere I am, but He can actually live inside me, and millions of other people as well, all at the same time.
I have always known this about God, since I first became a Christan, but somehow the concept took on a fresh, new meaning that day. Then, a few days later, I was in my car, singing my little heart out to a CD of praise music, and suddenly I had this thought that God was listening to me. Again, I always knew that He hears everything we say, but in that exact moment, I was more keenly aware than ever before that he was actually listening to me.
I started thinking that if it were anyone else, I would immediately stop, as I am not exactly musically talented, but I felt strongly that God loves my praises to Him, no matter what key I'm in (or not in). That led to the thought that even if I were to keep silent, God would still hear me. If I think any thought, or feel any feeling, God knows all about it.
It amazes me to know that God can see me no matter where I am, inside or outside, and that He can understand me, whether I express my thoughts to Him or keep silent.
"Nothing in all creation can hide from him. Everything is naked and exposed before his eyes..." (Heb 4:13, NLT). The best news is that even though He is bigger than anything we can understand or explain, and He knows our innermost thoughts, He loves us and desires a personal, intimate relationship with us!
It started when I went on vacation. My husband and I flew across the country to visit our kids. We were taking turns as to which of us got the window seat. On one of my turns, we were flying through the clouds. Some of the time, the clouds were light and were spread out enough that we got occasional glimpses of the landscape below. At one point, however, the clouds became so dense that they completely obscured the wing of our plane, just feet from our window. The though hit me, "How does God see us through the clouds?"
I was struck by how awesome God is that He can look out from wherever His throne happens to be in the heavens, across the galaxy, through the atmosphere, through the shell of the plane, to see me sitting in my seat!
Then I started imagining how God could not only see me seated on that plane, but, simultaneously, He could see someone else in Africa or China, around the curve of the earth! In my finite mind, I always consider that by being made in God's image, that somehow God should be confined by the same boundaries that limit my human existance. It amazes me that God can have an existance, as a Being, with a shape and form, and yet He can not only be right with me wherevere I am, but He can actually live inside me, and millions of other people as well, all at the same time.
I have always known this about God, since I first became a Christan, but somehow the concept took on a fresh, new meaning that day. Then, a few days later, I was in my car, singing my little heart out to a CD of praise music, and suddenly I had this thought that God was listening to me. Again, I always knew that He hears everything we say, but in that exact moment, I was more keenly aware than ever before that he was actually listening to me.
I started thinking that if it were anyone else, I would immediately stop, as I am not exactly musically talented, but I felt strongly that God loves my praises to Him, no matter what key I'm in (or not in). That led to the thought that even if I were to keep silent, God would still hear me. If I think any thought, or feel any feeling, God knows all about it.
It amazes me to know that God can see me no matter where I am, inside or outside, and that He can understand me, whether I express my thoughts to Him or keep silent.
"Nothing in all creation can hide from him. Everything is naked and exposed before his eyes..." (Heb 4:13, NLT). The best news is that even though He is bigger than anything we can understand or explain, and He knows our innermost thoughts, He loves us and desires a personal, intimate relationship with us!
Thursday, October 25, 2007
I am still reading, "Prayer...Does it Make a Difference" by Phillip Yancey. Today's reading really had me spinning. The chapter is "Unanswered Prayer: Living with the Mystery." I guess I keep reading, expecting to somehow find the answers to all of my questions about prayer, and I have many! This quote really put things into perspective:
"C.S. Lewis observes: The essence of request, as distinct from compulsion, is that it may or may not be granted. And if an infinitely wise Being listens to the requests of finite and foolish creatures, of couse He will sometimes grant and sometimes refuse them. Invariable "success" in prayer would not prove the Christian doctrine at all. It would prove something much more like magic."
If only the chapter ended there! I can certainly accept that God is sovereign and has the best interest of all of His children in mind when He chooses how to answer each prayer. Of this I have never had any doubt. I have only wondered, "If God already knows what's best, why ask?"
Mr. Yancey goes on, however, to quote several promises in the Bible about prayer:
"I tell you the truth, if you have faith and do not doubt...you can say to this mountain, 'Go, throw yourself into the sea,' and it will be done. If you believe, you will receive whatevr you ask for in prayer."
"Again, I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything you ask for, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven."
"Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours."
"You may ask me for anything in my name and I will do it."
Then he goes on: "These represent just a sampling of the New Testament's sweeping claims made in plain language. Some preachers seize on these passages as a kind of club, flogging the church for not taking them literally and faulting believers for having too little faith. But how to account for the unanswered prayers of Jesus and Paul? And how can we reconcile the lavish promises with the actual experience of so many sincere Christians who struggle with unansweed prayer?"
He answers this question with several possibilities. 1. These promises were specific to the disciples, not to all Christians. 2. Each of these have a qualifier, "whatever you ask in my name." "If you remain in me and my words remain in you." Maybe we are not alligned with God when we make our petitions. 3. We don't wait long enough for the answers. Many requests will have to wait until all things are completed. 4. God works through people. "To pray, 'God, please help my neighbor cope with her financial problems, ' or 'God, do something about the homeless downtown' is the approach of a theist, not a Christian. god has chosen to express love and grace in the world through those of us who embody Christ. Sometimes, instead of asking, we should be doing, and thereby become answers to our own prayers.
Finally, he concludes that sometimes we don't get the answer we are looking for, becuase we don't persist in asking. "John Calvin said, 'We must repeat the same supplication not twice or three times onnly, but as often as we have need, a hundred and a thousand times... We must never be weary in waiting for God's help."
For me, that would be just about impossible. I would find that kind of petitioning to be insulting to God. When my kids beg me, "Please, Mommy, Please!" a million times, I get angry. I expect them to accept my first answer. Why would God want me to keep asking? I know that there are many examples in scripture of such pleading, and often, it works out for the person petitioning. But what about the Israelites, who begged for a King? Look what they got! God gave in to their persistent pleas, giving them what they asked for, not what was best for them. I am afraid for God to give me whatever I ask for. I need what He knows to be best, not what I think is best, from my limited view of my life and circumstances.
"C.S. Lewis observes: The essence of request, as distinct from compulsion, is that it may or may not be granted. And if an infinitely wise Being listens to the requests of finite and foolish creatures, of couse He will sometimes grant and sometimes refuse them. Invariable "success" in prayer would not prove the Christian doctrine at all. It would prove something much more like magic."
If only the chapter ended there! I can certainly accept that God is sovereign and has the best interest of all of His children in mind when He chooses how to answer each prayer. Of this I have never had any doubt. I have only wondered, "If God already knows what's best, why ask?"
Mr. Yancey goes on, however, to quote several promises in the Bible about prayer:
"I tell you the truth, if you have faith and do not doubt...you can say to this mountain, 'Go, throw yourself into the sea,' and it will be done. If you believe, you will receive whatevr you ask for in prayer."
"Again, I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything you ask for, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven."
"Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours."
"You may ask me for anything in my name and I will do it."
Then he goes on: "These represent just a sampling of the New Testament's sweeping claims made in plain language. Some preachers seize on these passages as a kind of club, flogging the church for not taking them literally and faulting believers for having too little faith. But how to account for the unanswered prayers of Jesus and Paul? And how can we reconcile the lavish promises with the actual experience of so many sincere Christians who struggle with unansweed prayer?"
He answers this question with several possibilities. 1. These promises were specific to the disciples, not to all Christians. 2. Each of these have a qualifier, "whatever you ask in my name." "If you remain in me and my words remain in you." Maybe we are not alligned with God when we make our petitions. 3. We don't wait long enough for the answers. Many requests will have to wait until all things are completed. 4. God works through people. "To pray, 'God, please help my neighbor cope with her financial problems, ' or 'God, do something about the homeless downtown' is the approach of a theist, not a Christian. god has chosen to express love and grace in the world through those of us who embody Christ. Sometimes, instead of asking, we should be doing, and thereby become answers to our own prayers.
Finally, he concludes that sometimes we don't get the answer we are looking for, becuase we don't persist in asking. "John Calvin said, 'We must repeat the same supplication not twice or three times onnly, but as often as we have need, a hundred and a thousand times... We must never be weary in waiting for God's help."
For me, that would be just about impossible. I would find that kind of petitioning to be insulting to God. When my kids beg me, "Please, Mommy, Please!" a million times, I get angry. I expect them to accept my first answer. Why would God want me to keep asking? I know that there are many examples in scripture of such pleading, and often, it works out for the person petitioning. But what about the Israelites, who begged for a King? Look what they got! God gave in to their persistent pleas, giving them what they asked for, not what was best for them. I am afraid for God to give me whatever I ask for. I need what He knows to be best, not what I think is best, from my limited view of my life and circumstances.
Sunday, October 21, 2007
Temporary Housing
Well, we made it back safely from South Carolina. We went to visit our two oldest children, who are in the military. Unfortunately, we were only able to catch up with one of them. The other one is stuck in temporary housing, waiting for orders, due to a medical issue, which has yet to be signed off by the commanding officer. She is not able to move forward in her training, and she is finished with boot camp. She is basically stuck in Limbo until the paperwork is all cleared up.
I was able to make the most of an otherwise wonderful vacation. The weather was perfect, and it was great spending time with our son. But it was hard not being able to see our daughter, when we were certain that she would be there with us.
This kind of parallels the rest of my life, from a spiritual standpoint. I am "on assignment," so to speak, here on earth. I have a task to perform, to "love the Lord my God with all my heart, mind, soul, and strength, and to love my neighbor as myself." I am to go into all the world, telling others what Jesus has done for me, so that they may be blessed as I am. But this world is not my home. This life is not my ultimate goal. There is a wonderful, beautifu life ahead of me, where I will live in the physical presence of my Lord. I do not know when I will get my orders to move on. I do not know where or what my next assignment will be. I, too, live in "temporary housing" in this world. And all I can do is look to my Commander and follow my assignments to the best of my ability, with His guidance and direction all the way, until I get there. But I can be certain that one day, when I see Him coming in the clouds to take me home, that it will be the most amazing homecoming the universe has ever seen!
I was able to make the most of an otherwise wonderful vacation. The weather was perfect, and it was great spending time with our son. But it was hard not being able to see our daughter, when we were certain that she would be there with us.
This kind of parallels the rest of my life, from a spiritual standpoint. I am "on assignment," so to speak, here on earth. I have a task to perform, to "love the Lord my God with all my heart, mind, soul, and strength, and to love my neighbor as myself." I am to go into all the world, telling others what Jesus has done for me, so that they may be blessed as I am. But this world is not my home. This life is not my ultimate goal. There is a wonderful, beautifu life ahead of me, where I will live in the physical presence of my Lord. I do not know when I will get my orders to move on. I do not know where or what my next assignment will be. I, too, live in "temporary housing" in this world. And all I can do is look to my Commander and follow my assignments to the best of my ability, with His guidance and direction all the way, until I get there. But I can be certain that one day, when I see Him coming in the clouds to take me home, that it will be the most amazing homecoming the universe has ever seen!
Sunday, October 7, 2007
Perfection
In my devotional reading the other day, I came across this passage, from “God’s Way Day by Day,” By Charles F. Stanley:
“Looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith,” Hebrews 12:2
“You are a work in progress. God is molding and fashioning you into a person with whom He wants to live forever. Because of this, you have the hope that you are not going to be the same person tomorrow that you are today. If you are opening your life to God’s love, and you desire to have God’s love work in you and through you, then you are going to be more like Christ tomorrow than you are right now. Next week, you will be even more like Christ. Next year, you will be even more like Him. And so on.”
This really got the wheels in my mind spinning! On the one hand, I completely agree. I know that God, through the work of the Holy Spirit, transforms us, and I have seen much evidence of the kind of growth that Dr. Stanley is describing in my own life, as well as in the lives of almost every Christian that I know.
The apostle Paul puts it this way, “I don’t mean to say that I have already achieved these things or that I have already reached perfection! But I keep working toward that day when I will finally be all that Christ Jesus saved me for and wants me to be.” Phil 3:12, NLT. I can relate to this. I am a type-A personality. I want to be in control, and it is easy for me to set a goal and to work really hard to achieve it. Jesus even says, in Matthew 5:48, “But you are to be perfect, even as your Father in heaven is perfect.” But when I read verses like these, it is so easy for me to assume that God started a work in making me perfect, and it is up to me to keep at it, as if to earn my own righteousness.
And herein lies the problem: I can’t do it! That revelation leads to feelings of failure and unworthiness and keeps me from seeking God’s presence. Like so many, I feel rejected, like I don’t measure up. But I am missing the point.
The apostle Paul tells us, “In its place you have clothed yourselves with a brand-new nature that is continually being renewed as you learn more and more about Christ, who created this new nature within you,” (Col 3:10, NLT). Jesus starts the process, and He finishes it. We can’t do it. We can’t develop our own character, and we can’t achieve perfection through our own works! We need to come to Him and allow Him to make the changes, to mold us and shape us in His way.
And that leads me to the other “hand” that I referred to earlier. While we are so focused on the process of becoming more perfect and working for our own salvation, we miss the point that when we accept Jesus as our savior, we take on His perfection. Paul again tells us, “…by one sacrifice he has made perfect forever those who are being made holy,” Hebrews 10:14, NIV. He has made us perfect but he is working on making us holy. “What this means is that those who become Christians become new persons. They are not the same anymore, for the old life is gone. A new life has begun!” (2 Cor 5:17, NLT). God sees Jesus when He looks at those that come to Him in Jesus’ name. Jesus said, “I have given them the glory you gave me, so that they may be one, as we are—I in them and you in me, all being perfected into one….” John 17:22, 23, NLT.
So what are your thoughts on this renewal process? Do we actually grow up into Christ, or are we made perfect by accepting His sacrifice and taking on His perfection? Is our perfection even God’s goal in the first place? Can we expect to attain perfection through Christ this side of eternity? Does this line of reasoning come from our worldly perspective of trying to earn our salvation? Does it help you to know that Jesus accepts you where you are, but he doesn’t leave you there? Or does the idea of His changing you and helping you grow make you feel like maybe you will not be able to do it and leave you feeling helpless and rejected?
“Looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith,” Hebrews 12:2
“You are a work in progress. God is molding and fashioning you into a person with whom He wants to live forever. Because of this, you have the hope that you are not going to be the same person tomorrow that you are today. If you are opening your life to God’s love, and you desire to have God’s love work in you and through you, then you are going to be more like Christ tomorrow than you are right now. Next week, you will be even more like Christ. Next year, you will be even more like Him. And so on.”
This really got the wheels in my mind spinning! On the one hand, I completely agree. I know that God, through the work of the Holy Spirit, transforms us, and I have seen much evidence of the kind of growth that Dr. Stanley is describing in my own life, as well as in the lives of almost every Christian that I know.
The apostle Paul puts it this way, “I don’t mean to say that I have already achieved these things or that I have already reached perfection! But I keep working toward that day when I will finally be all that Christ Jesus saved me for and wants me to be.” Phil 3:12, NLT. I can relate to this. I am a type-A personality. I want to be in control, and it is easy for me to set a goal and to work really hard to achieve it. Jesus even says, in Matthew 5:48, “But you are to be perfect, even as your Father in heaven is perfect.” But when I read verses like these, it is so easy for me to assume that God started a work in making me perfect, and it is up to me to keep at it, as if to earn my own righteousness.
And herein lies the problem: I can’t do it! That revelation leads to feelings of failure and unworthiness and keeps me from seeking God’s presence. Like so many, I feel rejected, like I don’t measure up. But I am missing the point.
The apostle Paul tells us, “In its place you have clothed yourselves with a brand-new nature that is continually being renewed as you learn more and more about Christ, who created this new nature within you,” (Col 3:10, NLT). Jesus starts the process, and He finishes it. We can’t do it. We can’t develop our own character, and we can’t achieve perfection through our own works! We need to come to Him and allow Him to make the changes, to mold us and shape us in His way.
And that leads me to the other “hand” that I referred to earlier. While we are so focused on the process of becoming more perfect and working for our own salvation, we miss the point that when we accept Jesus as our savior, we take on His perfection. Paul again tells us, “…by one sacrifice he has made perfect forever those who are being made holy,” Hebrews 10:14, NIV. He has made us perfect but he is working on making us holy. “What this means is that those who become Christians become new persons. They are not the same anymore, for the old life is gone. A new life has begun!” (2 Cor 5:17, NLT). God sees Jesus when He looks at those that come to Him in Jesus’ name. Jesus said, “I have given them the glory you gave me, so that they may be one, as we are—I in them and you in me, all being perfected into one….” John 17:22, 23, NLT.
So what are your thoughts on this renewal process? Do we actually grow up into Christ, or are we made perfect by accepting His sacrifice and taking on His perfection? Is our perfection even God’s goal in the first place? Can we expect to attain perfection through Christ this side of eternity? Does this line of reasoning come from our worldly perspective of trying to earn our salvation? Does it help you to know that Jesus accepts you where you are, but he doesn’t leave you there? Or does the idea of His changing you and helping you grow make you feel like maybe you will not be able to do it and leave you feeling helpless and rejected?
Monday, October 1, 2007
Triumph!
Well, I did it! I said the prayer in front of the church. Luckily, I only had to do it during the early service (we have 2 services), and most of the people must have been sleeping in, so the room was half empty. I got up to read the scripture, and I told myself, "This isn't so bad. I can do this." Then I said a quick prayer under my breath, "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength....Please be with me." I read the scripture, and everything was fine. Then I asked the congregation to kneel with me for prayer. I started, "Our gracious and loving heavenly Father..." Uh, oh! I started shaking.
I had a wireless microphone in my hand, and I almost couldn't hold it. I quickly grabbed it with my other hand. Now both of my hands were shaking wildly, barely holding the mic. I continued speaking. My voice was quivering. "Hurry. But don't talk fast. Don't panic," I told myself. I concentrated on the words I was saying. I pictured Jesus in my mind. "I am only speaking to Him. No one else is here." I told myself. I continued with the prayer. Finally, I got to "Amen." I did it! I hurried to my seat, and immediately my eyes welled up with tears. But I made it! I didn't pass out or throw up. And I didn't run away!
God helped me to face my fear, and I survived! My husband said he couldn't tell that I was even nervous (although I am sure he would say that no matter what). Will I try it again? I don't know. But if I need to step out of my comfort zone again, I know I can count on God to get me through it, just as He did this time.
I had a wireless microphone in my hand, and I almost couldn't hold it. I quickly grabbed it with my other hand. Now both of my hands were shaking wildly, barely holding the mic. I continued speaking. My voice was quivering. "Hurry. But don't talk fast. Don't panic," I told myself. I concentrated on the words I was saying. I pictured Jesus in my mind. "I am only speaking to Him. No one else is here." I told myself. I continued with the prayer. Finally, I got to "Amen." I did it! I hurried to my seat, and immediately my eyes welled up with tears. But I made it! I didn't pass out or throw up. And I didn't run away!
God helped me to face my fear, and I survived! My husband said he couldn't tell that I was even nervous (although I am sure he would say that no matter what). Will I try it again? I don't know. But if I need to step out of my comfort zone again, I know I can count on God to get me through it, just as He did this time.
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